This is me

Red Torso

 This was the first large piece I created.  When I first realized I was looking at men 'too much', I thought I wanted to 'be' those men - that I wasn't man enough.  It took me a long time to realize the possibility of wanting to 'be with' those men instead.  My struggle between the two lead me to create this piece.  I used myself as a model which would let me hide behind being narcissistic.  In hindsight, that was quite the rationalization.  The closet is a funny thing and can do strange things.  At least that's been my experience.

Well after I finished the piece, I went to get it framed - a terrifying experience.  I remember wandering around the store forever working up the courage to ask for help at the counter.  When I finally did, I had to confess it felt weird as though I was opening up my underwear drawer to a complete stranger.

 Torso 2

  While modeled after me, the Red Torso is far more idealistic than I really am.  This torso was a bridge between the ideal and real. 

Me - for real

While this is another self-portrait, it is far more realistic.  I am man enough.  And even when I no longer look like this, I will still be man enough.  Being man enough has nothing to do with looks or any of the other male-stereotypes.  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.